Dear Natalia Malaver
I understand that you don’t want to see me again because I hurt you by saying that I hate seeing you discreetly. I was actually hurt. Hurt because i will never be with you and you were Johan’s girlfriend.
At first I didn’t take your rejection seriously on March 4th 2019 and then on March 7th I felt heartbreak. The pain that made me felt useless because you were actually the first girl I confess and I thought you probably needed to know that I like you so much. I felt I need to say this because it was something I needed to do.( made me realize that I shouldn’t say I like you so much to you)
As the months went by , I keep falling you while you were with Johan until September 7th and I saw you. You kissing Johan while I was inside the dairy backstock through the plastic curtains. I felt even worst because I also told another girl if she wants to go out with me at that day and of course she rejected me
The last straw was at Christmas Eve when I was heading to the subway and I saw you and Johan together. I saw how you were looking at Johan. With love and you were happy. At that point I decided to hate you and hate myself even more.
I don’t regret giving you a heart shaped box of chocolates on February 17th 2019 but I do regret hurting you prior that next year. I should’ve look at all the signs that you didn’t felt the same way as I. But no. I kept feeding this fantasy that you probably will feel the way as me. I shouldn’t gave you those chocolates.
I did apologize indirectly to you that you heard that I hate seeing you by saying someone was saying shit about you. Until now that was so stupid to say that to you. I remember the last time I saw you at Whole Foods Market , you were scanning the shelves of the International aisle , my cardboards fell off my cart , and you help me put my cardboards back to my cart. Strangely enough you didn’t maintain eye contact with me as say thank you for helping me. I never thought it was the last time I saw you before the covid 19 hit hard here in New York.
Yes, I know you’re in North Carolina, taking care of a relative during covid 19( Tom told me) and I hope you’re doing ok. I want to say I’m sorry for hurting you. You’re always in my mind every moment at Whole Foods Market and I want to forget about you. I’m typing this letter to say that I’m ready to move forward. I hope you’ll understand importance and impact you had in my late 20’s. I wish you happiness with whatever man you married with and hopefully you don’t hate me for the things I had done to you.
Sincerely
José Luis Garcia #personal #confession #heartbreak #covid #twoyearsago #love #movingon
